Peeling Back the Layers
For thirty years, my late husband and I owned the Rocking Horse Cafe, a bustling Mexican restaurant that became a sort of second home to the people in our Chelsea neighborhood. Why Mexican? Our first road trip together was in Mexico. During that trip (the first of many), we drove a rented VW Beetle across the Sierra Madres—it’s how I learned to drive a stick shift. We stopped at every little town, and waited in line outside the tortillerias, taking in the heady smell of warm corn tortillas at sunrise. We ate ceviche on the beach, morning, noon and night. And we fell in love with the people, the culture, and the food—its wonderfully fresh and flavorful simplicity. At the Rocking Horse Cafe, we shared our love of Mexico with the city, and it was contagious.
Until that point, I’d been a freelance photographer with an uneven income. Suddenly, I was a restaurant owner, the boss of 50 employees. There were so many moving parts to my job, and an incredible array of details I had to oversee. It was a true test of my leadership skills. To my surprise, I loved it.
An important part of the job was my role as both employer and coach of my staff. To achieve balance—and get things done—it was absolutely crucial that I established trust with my management team, staff, and vendors. Sometimes it took months for them to trust that I would deliver on agreements I had made, but actions always speak louder than words.
As the owner, I led by example. Over time, managers learned—through experience—that I would be there for them. I would back their decisions, no matter what. When they understood that I trusted them, then they learned to have faith in themselves. Once that kind of trust is established, it can be shared with others down the line. Then business runs well, interdependently. Like a family.
Feels like another lifetime ago, before a seismic shift in my career path brought me to full time life coaching in New Jersey. Yet it strikes me: here I am coaching people through some of the same lessons I taught my employees back in the restaurant days. Fact is, we always know what we’re doing, or what we want to be doing, even when it seems like we don’t. We have the answers. They’re there when we peel back the layers. I knew that back then and even more so now.
~ Roe Di Bona