Gandhi's Insight
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” - Mahatma Gandhi
I delight in the paradox that we can find ourselves by losing ourselves in the moment of giving—in being present with another person. In any situation, no matter how dire it might seem, we have the power to create within us a sense of peace, satisfaction, trust and spiritual grounding.
While watching a PBS interview last year, with Jennifer Adamski, a critical care nurse practitioner in Cleveland, Ohio, I was reminded of Gandhi’s quote—a favorite of mine—that guides me in my work. When regional and rural hospitals are not equipped to handle serious coronavirus cases, critical care nurses like Adamski are dispatched, often via helicopter, to serve them. In the interview, she described the camaraderie and collaboration she feels working alongside her colleagues as they help Covid-19 patients in high-pressure situations. Frontline workers are forces of nature. But, I was struck by something else: that within the urgency of the moment we are able to call upon an innate sense of creativity, calm, confidence and a oneness with team members that pulls us together and helps us through tough times. Like this, we can take the steps to move forward, no matter the circumstances.
The pandemic has challenged us to re-think how we live and interact with others, almost overnight. As Adamski spoke of the personal ownership she feels about her work, the commitment she has made to help others, and the empowerment she derives from her ability to serve, opportunity can be found in any situation. We just need to look for it, and to seize it. Every action we choose makes a difference in other people’s lives.
As a coach I support clients rediscover their unwavering purpose, what it is that gives them joy, and in the actions they take so that they can live and work with clarity, confidence and trust.
Even though the logistics of my coaching practice have changed over the past year, the work—focusing on belief exploration and taking action—has not. Just as I once enjoyed walks to offices, the connection in visiting clients in one-on-one sessions throughout Manhattan, or in Montclair, I’ve always communicated with others via Zoom. But during the pandemic, all of my sessions have been held virtually, allowing me to connect with clients all over the world. This has given me more time to fit in pro bono work, helping many others stay vibrant and impactful, even through their struggles.
The current situation reminds me of 9/11, when retired corporate officers returned to their former businesses to mentor those affected by the attack. As a small business owner at that time, I remember what it was like to have professional guidance then, and how much I appreciated it. During those days, there was a ray of light. We banded together, as a community, on a local, national and global level. Our world had changed in an instant. Business was disrupted, among so much else, but we came together to help one another. In the business community, we were able to find clear-minded focus, to act with intentionality, to work together, and with that effort, life slowly got back to normal—or, a new normal. It’s that kind of support that I offer business owners and executives, now. I help them to know that they have it within themselves to learn the new ropes and rewrite the playbook.
During the early months of the pandemic, my clients in Manhattan had it especially difficult because of the sheer volume of Covid-19 cases that they confronted, at work and in their communities. Some found themselves reminded of their vulnerability on their way to and from work. They walked past refrigerated trailers filled with the bodies of those who died from the virus; they heard non-stop ambulance sirens; and experienced isolation in the silence of the city shutting down. They lost incomes. Parents and kids found themselves overwhelmed having to work together at home. Some shut down emotionally, burned out, or experienced a lack of focus, helplessness and overwhelming fear.
Now that we are on track to reopening the country, conversations with friends might still lead to the loss of the past year as we climb out of survival mentality. But staying focused on changing what we have control over - ourselves - will generate the energy we need to support our family and friends at home and teams at work. Reaching out to others, being present by openly listening to their stories and sharing our own, we have the ability to tap into our caring, inner calm and trust to pull together. We might not have solutions, but reaching out to those we love, and welcoming new faces into our conversations could be enough of a start.
Gandhi’s words are the thread connecting all of us to this time and place. We just might find ourselves by losing ourselves in every opportunity we take to live completely present, in the moment. It’s a great way to serve ourselves by serving others.
In what ways have you found yourself by serving others?